


Paroxysm

by LaurelSilver



Series: The 'other' universe [2]
Category: 2P Hetalia - Fandom, Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Blood and Gore, Body Horror, Discipline, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Magic, Parent-Child Relationship, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-22
Updated: 2015-08-22
Packaged: 2018-04-16 14:56:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4629519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaurelSilver/pseuds/LaurelSilver
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Paroxysm; a sudden attack of a particular emotion</p><p>Nikolai learns to master his magic</p>
            </blockquote>





	Paroxysm

**Author's Note:**

> Characters;  
> Nikolai 'Russia' Braginski  
> (Duchess) Anastasia Romanova  
> Matt 'Canada' Williams (Matvei)  
> Lutz 'Germany' Weilschmidt  
> Al 'America' Jones  
> Oliver 'England' Kirkland
> 
> Note; Matt is physically about sixteen, Al about thirteen/fourteen. Matt lives with Nikolai, Al lives with Oliver

_Joy + Joy = Ecstasy_

It's an old dream of Nikolai's to be surrounded by sunflowers, an image prevalent when he sleeps, a sanctuary in his daydreams.

Nikolai sits quietly on the dry ground, scarf writhing either side of his torso as he thinks. He lets the ends rise and reach forwards, hovering over a patch of mud. It cracks.

A green shoot rises from the split, leaves peeling back to reveal a tight bud of long, yellow petals. The flower head opens and spreads as the stalk grows, woody and hollow, taller and taller.

As Nikolai stands up, the sunflower is already significantly taller than him. The ground seems to shake as the cracks spread, more green stalks rising and blooming into heavy yellow. They surround him, flowers bowing over his head until they block out the sky.

"Lumos." The ball of white light rises above him, seeming to glow yellow surrounded by the long petals, the seeded faces staring down. He fills every angle of his possible vision with the symbols of happiness, the smell so heavy on the air he feels dizzy. It's quite literally a dream come true.

_Joy + Sadness = Melancholy_

The old violin hovers, Nikolai needing very little concentration to keep it steady. However, figuring out how to hold down the strings without touching the instrument has taken some thinking, as well as how to keep the bow taught if he cannot feel the way it pulls on the strings. But Nikolai has all the time he could wish for to play around with his magical capabilities, and the tune he practices is simple, an old piece.

Korobeiniki is a folk song, but fun to play, familiar worldwide. But despite Nikolai's experience with both the song and the instrument, the notes are clunky and slow, drawn out and sometimes off key, like that of a child's. Like that of a young child's, a duchesses', frowning at the paper as she tries again and again and again, determined to show her friend 'Gospodin Braginski' what she's learnt. And Gospodin Braginski had applauded her every time.

_Joy + Disgust = Intrigue_

Nikolai watches the ends of his scarf rise over his head, then lets them drop again. He raises them again, and drops them. He's never had this amount of magic ability before.

The scarf wraps around Matt's waist, hoisting him into the air. However, the hold is sloppy and flimsy, leaving Matt hanging upside down.

"Please tell me I'm not going to become your magic-practice guinea pig," he grumbles.

"Of course you are going to be my guinea pig," Nikolai says plainly, "This is a lot of magic to master."

He unravels the scarf from Matt's waist, and Matt reflexively braces himself for impact with the floor. But instead, as Nikolai focuses, he hovers in the air.

Nikolai grins like a child. This is going to be fun.

_Joy + Fear = Surprise_

Lutz sneaks up on Nikolai, paper bag in hand already blown up. He raises his hands, grin in place, and Matt just stares at him from the other side of the desk in a mix of fear and anticipation.

Nikolai flicks two fingers in the general direction of 'behind him', the magic needing very little directing to send Lutz flying across the room to into the wall.

Lutz grunts as he falls down. The paper bag bursts on the floor, making all three men jump. Magic, still not quite fully mastered, hits the bag and sets it aflame, Lutz yelping as it burns his fingers.

The following April Fools Day, Lutz doesn't bother trying to prank Nikolai.

_Joy + Anger = Righteousness_

Nikolai watches, poker faced, as he lets the rope holding Al up drop. The American lands on the floor ungracefully.

"This is the fourth time this week you've been caught trespassing in my house," Nikolai says, rubbing the bridge of his nose, "And it's only Tuesday."

"Maybe I like hanging upside down from the ceiling," Al responds sarcastically.

Nikolai rolls his eyes. Then stares at Al, a realisation dawning on him.

He focuses on Al, directing magic at the American's stomach. Al's stomach gurgles loudly before he doubles over in pain, clutching his middles with a yell, a burning sensation devouring his insides. The agony spreads from his stomach into his intestines, fast and angry. He screams, and a smoke escapes his throat as the pain spreads to his lungs, deep red and smelling foully of harsh chemicals and burnt meat.

Nikolai teleports Al back to Britain, a message of warning to Oliver, as Al's spine is devoured by the strengthened stomach acid, leaving him unable to thrash, only scream incoherently, as his body bubbles and burns.

_Sadness + Sadness = Despair_

Nikolai sits on the floor of his room, staring at the doll. A pottery doll made by a wealthy supporter of the monarchy, it depicts five-year-old Anastasia, all rosy cheeks and shiny eyes and curly hair.

The doll blinks. She takes a cautious step forwards, pulling herself out of her frame as she walks, magic filling her hollow frame. Her porcelain shoe skids on the floor, and she falls, her brittle hips and thighs smashing against the floor.

Nikolai stares in alarm. The doll's mouth hangs open in a silent scream of agony as Nikolai curls up, knees pressed into his chest, and cries.

_Sadness + Disgust = Self loathing_

Scarf sat on his bed, Nikolai runs his fingers over his neck, the flesh feeling almost scaly with scars. Thin lines encircle his throat, criss-crossed, dull and pale after so many years of sitting hidden under scarfs and high necklines.

Nikolai focuses on the lines, letting magic fill them. The flesh forcibly heals, burning pain shooting through the dry skin and burrowing into his soft throat. As the lines seal over with delicate new skin, the pain intensifies until it feels like a series of knives buried to the hilt, his breath short and panting, tears of agony dripping down his face.

He caves, hands still on his neck. The soft, fresh skin peels away, leaving the old scars red and angry.

Nikolai pulls his scarf around him, burying his face in it. The stitches make him itch as he curls up in bed, forcing himself to sleep.

_Sadness + Fear = Anxiety_

Matt groans in his sleep, writhing as he fight some imaginary demon. Nikolai checks the teen's temperature again, shushing him. He's overheating again, so Nikolai throws the blanket over the back of the couch and returns to his book.

Unfortunately, as he's not overly sure what sort of magic he'd been messing with, he's not sure what he accidentally hit Matt with, so he has no idea where to start with healing magic. So far, Matt hasn't shown any major symptoms of anything, just tiredness, a swinging temperature and night terrors, which could be pretty much anything.

Sighing, Nikolai closes the book and checks Matt's temperature. The skin is cold as ice, and Nikolai pulls the blanket back over him again before he sits on the floor next to him. He's just going to have to wait this out.

_Sadness + Anger = Betrayal_

"I have never been so betrayed," Nikolai says gravely, glaring over his desk.

Matt stares back evenly. "I'm pretty sure you have."

"This is not a joke,  _Matvei_!"

"It's hard to take you seriously when you're bitching about fermented potatoes."

"Missing vodka is a serious issue, Matvei!"

Matt rolls his eyes. He is given the ruler and spends the next week without sweets. The missing vodka bottle is found under Nikolai's bed.

_Disgust + Disgust = Prejudice_

Nikolai weaves through the room, handing out the large chunks of gingerbread. As Matt's fourteen hundredth 'birthday' nears, his French and English siblings have arrived and filled the old ballroom, covering a table in alcohol and sweets. Matt flits from person to person, munching through sweet after sweet. He's going to have a hell of a hangover tomorrow, mixed with a sugar crash, but it's his own fault.

Al reaches for the tray, for the final piece. Nikolai turns casually away, scanning the room for anyone without gingerbread, but everyone, physically ranging from small children to young adults, has a piece. Damn.

Nikolai quickly grabs it, taking a large of bite himself. Al whines, and Nikolai innocently pretends to have only just noticed him. "Oh, I'm sorry, did you not get a piece?"

"No I didn't, and you know I didn't," Al snaps. His accent has become more and more Southern over the years, "You did that on purpose."

"Yes I did."

"You're prejudiced against me because I'm American."

"Yes I am."

"You're an asshole."

"Only to you."

_Disgust + Fear = Revulsion_

Nikolai flicks through the book, the fire in front of him crackling and snapping as it barely stays alight. The book is wrong, completely biased, and it disgusts him. Early women warriors disregarded, cruel leaders recast into the light of heroes and martyrs, artifacts misunderstood, completely ridiculous stories woven from simple pictures depicting basic housework, mistranslated stories recorded as either the truth or a crazy old belief.

Nikolai throws the book into the fire, shoving the paper edge into the glowing log until it catches, orange flames reaching up, the pages blackening and curling, the false words being eaten, lies finally forgotten.

_Disgust + Anger = Loathing_

The wind scatters the dust over the dry ground. There has been less and less snow, then less and less rain, then less and less clouds. The days are long, hot and bright, the sun bearing down relentlessly.

Nikolai used to dream of sunny days, but when faced with the sun never-ending he's grown to hate the way it dries out the ground and the way his clothes become heavy and the way his skin burns and peels and hurts. It's a cruel irony.

_Fear + Fear = Terror_

Nightmares are normal to immortals. Torture, war, forced servitude and superstition pulled together into imaginary hells. But these, Nikolai can handle. He's lived them in person, and while they're awful to face again Nikolai has developed a mindset of "If I've survived it before, I can survive it again".

However, the subconscious has a bad habit of mixing more modern memories into old ones. And recently, a lot of Nikolai's attention has been taken up by teaching and taking care of Matt. Matt, who still strikes Nikolai as a child, despite having stood by him on the battlefields of World War One, Two and Three, having stood against him in the Cold War, having trained and taught him personally many times. Matt will always be a child to old nations like Nikolai. And the fact he had reverted to a child for the fourth time and Nikolai has watched him grow back into adulthood has left Nikolai with a strange parental protective instinct over Matt.

So when Nikolai bolts upright in the middle of the night, Matt caught in a Breaking Wheel, arms bloody and angled, the bones splintered and forcing their way out of his skin, vultures and buzzards tearing at the skin of his chest and stomach, is an image burned almost permanently behind his eyelids.

_Fear + Anger = Hatred_

Al grins from behind the desk, eyes darting around. Matt's book sits on the desk, ribbon bookmark two thirds of the way down. Nikolai has worked hard on his ability to sense people arriving at the house, and his ability to bullshit a reason for Matt to have to leave for a while.

"And what has your darling father sent this month?" Nikolai offers dryly.

"Me," Al says, waving awkwardly. Al has reverted to a teen again, re-growing much slower than Matt did, the American's voice squeaky and about to break any day, "Me for Matt."

"Hardly a fair trade."

"Rude."

Nikolai stares evenly, eyebrow quirked.

Al sighs. "Dad really wants to see Matt again."

"See him or eat him?"

"There is more to Dad than his cannibalism."

"I'm aware. In the same way there's more to you than all the things I hate, but I can't be bothered to find them out so you're just going to have to fuck off."

"Rude."

_Anger + Anger = Rage_

Nikolai stands in the middle of where his sunflower field used to be. The dry, grey stalks lay dead on the ground. The sun beats down, increasing Nikolai's migraine. No amount of focus will revive the dead plants. Not that it's worth it- with no more rain, the flowers would die again within the day.

It takes almost nothing, little more than a stare at the plants, for the woody stalks to set alight, the smoke thin and grey as the old symbol of happiness burns to ashes.

**Author's Note:**

> Korobeikini is the song used in Tetris  
> Nikolai is strict as hell. Matt's not usually in trouble, though  
> 'The ruler' refers to being smacked on the knuckles with a (usually wooden) ruler. This is now considered child abuse in the UK, and I'm unsure if it is in Russia as well, but older nations will probably revert to old techniques.  
> Matt has one hell of a sweet tooth  
> A lot of history is actually wrong, basically because of a combination of guesswork, misunderstandings and bias. However, just writing this in a history exam won't get you anywhere. And a lot of more modern history is accurate, due to the introduction of record keeping and technology.  
> 'Breaking Wheel', or a Catherine Wheel, is a wooden wheel used in torture. The victim's arms would be tied to the spokes, then the wheel is turned, the victim's arms beaten with hemmers until they break in numerous places, the breaks forced through the skin. The victim would then often be left to bleed, or to be picked at by birds.  
> Oliver is a cannibal  
> Nikolai doesn't trust Oliver with Matt
> 
> Guess who saw Inside Out recently


End file.
